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pigfarts-pigfarts-here-i-come:

Today my mom wasn’t home, so my eight year old sister asked me to set some words for her so she could write her daily sentences. I knew she did them every day, but I’ve never bothered to read them before.

My sister is a lot of things. She’s extremely smart, fairly quiet, and absolutely hilarious. But today I learned two new things about her:

a) my sister does not have a way with the written word

b) my sister is addicted to crack cocaine

I don’t know what the fuck she’s smoking but I want in on it sweet baby jesus I did not know what to do with myself while I was reading some of these

what is wrong with her

I don’t even understand what some of these mean

(Source: higgitusfiggitus, via stopfuckingwithkoreanjesus)

eatcleanmakechanges:

tyleroakley:

do-not-toy-with-my-emotions:

Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words: 

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. 

I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her. 

Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note: 

Dear Meredith, 

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away. 

Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by. 

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find. I am wherever there is love. 

Love, God 

Don’t say you’re too busy to reblog this.

TEARS.

That is a nice postman for doing that :)

This is so beautiful. 

leery-loons:

Today was lovely
Like the first day of summer
Welcome back best friend 

SO

…. you know how people take pictures from tumblr and reddit and they put them on fb and act like they’re cool? Apparently this has reached the adult fb population and my mom keeps telling me her friends are “writing” this and that on their fb’s and it took me a while to realize she meant they were posing those pictures with dumb captions. I hate adults with fb, they write the most obnoxious things. 

shaving23spiders:

His palms are sweaty, knees weak
arms spaghetti
there’s vomit on spaghetti already
mom’s spaghetti
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti
to drop bombs
but he keeps on spaghetti

(via greyhumour)

(Source: i-am-the-oracular-spectacular, via eatcleanmakechanges)

theannoyingskwid:

Every song you have ever loved and every song you have ever hated.

THIS. WAS. EVERYTHING. LITERALLY.

ALL THE AWARDS.

Lucky - Brittany Spears

Love Story - Taylor Swift

I’m Yours - Jason Mraz

Super Bass - Nicki Minaj

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

I Want It That Way - Backstreet Boys

Escape - Enrique Iglesias

Paparazzi - Lady Gaga

Hot & Cold - Katy Pery

The Boy Is Mine  - Brandy & Monica

It’s Ok If It’s In a 3-Way - Justin Timberlake, Andy Samberg, Lady Gaga

Whatchu Say - Jason De Rulo

Baby - Justin Beiber

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Take On Me - A-Ha

Jar of Hearts - Christine Peri

Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

Love the Way you Lie - Eminem Ft. Rihanna

Skyscrape - Demi Levato 

Poker Face - Lady Gaga

3 AM - Matchbox 20

Airplane - B.o.B ft. Haylie Williams

Let It Be- THe Beatles

Party Rock Anthem - LFMAO

Don’t Stop Believing - Journey

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

Someone Like You - Adele

It’s All Coming Back To Me Now - Celine Dion

Apologize - One Republic

No Scrubs - TLC

Forget You - Cee Lo Green

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

Who’s that Lady - Isley Brothers

All I Wanna Do -Sheryl Crow

Friday - Rebecca Black

Last Friday Night - Katy Perry

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING

wat

MORE FROM theannoyingskwid

(Source: yalltube, via stopfuckingwithkoreanjesus)

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